Monday, February 15, 2010

My Latest WIP

!!!!! Surprise! Now you know why I've been away for so long! Morning sickness and fatigue are NOT my friends! It really has been overwhelming, more than my other two pregnancies. I haven't been able to do much...too dizzy. I miss you all, and haven't made anything in a while. I am not the kind that could lay in bed all day, especially with my family and art waiting. It's been very depressing.

I am trying to stay positive though- We planned this pregnancy and even though I've been stuck in bed, I haven't had a single migraine. I consider myself very lucky for that! With Lil and Maddie I had them the whole first trimester. I am 10 weeks along, so I hope to be myself again once everything settles down. :)

There is another part to this story. My ultrasound at 6 weeks showed 2 sacs- twins! We were so shocked! It was a good and scary thing at the same time. Good because it was another life, a blessing. Scary because it was two times everything! We were given books with great tips about how to manuever twins- thanks Holly! Lots of family members eagerly volunteered to help us get through the first few tricky months. We could do this.

In that 2 weeks, I heard a lot of great stories about twins. Even though they are twice as much work, they are twice as much of a blessing too. Twice as many coos, etc. And any parents of twins should get a medal... I mean it!

Then, at my 8 week ultrasound, we were told that one twin had vanished. We were aware that this could happen, especially with such an early ultrasound...turns out it is more common than people think. Toss in some pregnancy hormones and I was quite a mess. Even though I knew it could happen. Even though I knew that the remaining baby had a much better chance at avoiding premature birth and tons of other complications. Even though my fears of not being able to give each child enough attention were gone.

While I understood these things, I still was sad for the loss of whoever that was. Not in the same way as someone that was actually born and lived a life here on earth, but still sad. I got used to the idea of twins, I accepted it, and was even looking forward to it. It wasn't a great day.

Things are better now.

It just wasn't in the cards for me, and that's okay. I did nothing extra to have twins, and there was nothing I could do to stop one from vanishing. And I'm STILL blessed when it comes to children. I have my 2 little redhead beauties, and 1 healthy baby growing in my belly. We are talking STRONG heartbeat people! :) So please, no pity parties for's all good! :)

I painted this before all the pregnancy fun set in...I knew what it meant then, but it is much more significant to me now.

It's a reminder to put your heart into what you do in life. Make it the best it can be. Then send it off, let it go, with no regrets and no worries about how things work out. Because you did all you could.


Lydias Treasures 4U said...

Congrats on your twin babies! :)

canngil said...

Blessings to you and your family. God does things that do not make much sense at the time,but work out for the best in the long run. Think of the one child making the sacrifice out of love for his wombmate. We had to made a difficult decision a long time ago, and that bit of wisdom helped us greatly.

slommler said...

Wowweeee! Congrats on your new little one. Great pic! I am sorry for your loss and I so understand how you felt.
This painting is fabulous and has such meaning now. Well done!

Jeanne said...

Congrats to your my dear!!! Babies are so wonderful! I do hope you get to feeling better soon...I can remember morning sickness & how horrible I felt!

Love the painting! Very meaningful!

Hugs! :0)

mystele said...

oh!!! now i know where you've been...take care of you, and i'm glad that you are getting closer to feeling a bit better. take care!

MoDLin said...

Sorry to learn of your loss. Though not expected, once you know there is a second little one there it's hard to see him disappear.
May you have an otherwise uneventful and healthy pregnancy and a lovely sibling for your two little red heads.

Lori Garbarino said...

Oh My Darling!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so happy for you all!!! I love you and I need that new picture!!! you inspired me! I will put my heart into my recovery!!! I'll email soon



Jennifer Rizzo said...

Congrats to you Mere! With my last one she was twin and I didn't know it until my ultrasound when they saw the empty sac. I still think about it once in a while, and wonder but then I realize it just wasn't meant to be or it would've happened. the third baby is the best!

julie Haymaker thompson said...

Congrats. I so understand the sadness you must have felt about the loss of the twin ... So sorry.. But we will all now hope for a very healthy Baby for you !!!

The Vintage Sister said...

Congratulations!!! It looks like you're having a little jellybean, lol.
Without all of this technology, you would have never known about, or lost, a second little being.
It's funny how nature works, huh?

I hope you start feeling better soon. Being sick is the pits!

Crystelle Boutique said...

Love that painting, and love what it represents.....
You are so talented, girl!!!